grievances

when i was cruel you wrote it in your mind you talked to the others and agreed it was not fine you don't know i didn't mean it that's right

i'm stupid for not seeing that my words were a crime honestly I had no idea and it's so upsetting that this happens every time

a pattern that centers me I'm fucking shitty can't you see I didn't improve my attitude from the last time maybe I'm just a cruel person and I can't say things that lift you up it's all just fucking brine salty and unpleasant in the mind

i have no excuses but i wish that you'd have said you didn't like a single word from my head i'm a brain trained through feedback and I've got so little so when you don't tell me until it's too late it's fickle

throw a list of grievances at my foot before you go or don't tell me I'm mean and I've got issues, drop out and block me on everything let's do this i've seen it 3 times isn't that crazy I don't get a chance just the ones you gave me Without me knowing you hated me daily

it's an excuse to say i'm autistic and I don't get social cues I still fucked up and I still hurt you

I feel horrible, really I do, and it's not just because I'm not going to hear from you I don't like hurting other people it's not who I want to be I'm trying so fucking hard but it's just how I see So I can't rip it out of me and I'm afraid that I'll never provide A positive influence for anyone but me

I want to tell you how you're doing great and I'm so proud of every single thing you accomplish my mind is grime and I can't pick the right words I'm going to work on it but I don't know how I've gone to therapy it's probably just my personality and it makes me sick I can't be compatible or please everyone maybe we just shouldn't be friends if you see my words this way they're empty and don't matter i'm a jester but this jester has bad vibes and can't read your mind

kicking myself in the head losing it thinking about my mistakes in bed i wish i could be what you want